Chemo is over!!!! It's been 20 long weeks - 5 months - 4 brutal rounds of Adriamycin & Cytoxin - 11 rounds of Taxol - 15 rounds in all - total hair loss, including eye lashes and eye brows - 5 days of dramatically low blood pressure - 1 episode of passing out - 4 injections of Neulasta from Mike - countless medications - many headaches, visual changes, back and joint pain & muscle spasms - too many needles and pokes to access my port - weeks of annoying hot flashes, runny nose and eyes - daily fatigue with countless hours spent in bed, and.......I MADE IT!!! I am not the type to toot my own horn, but I must admit that I am pretty proud of myself for making it through these last 5 months. I rarely complained and tried to keep my head held high through it all, because I knew I could do it. I know I can get through anything, especially with my amazing support team. I swear, if all it took to beat cancer was sheer drive, motivation and hard work - I would have had it beat already! I can't thank you enough for all of the many ways you have shown your support throughout chemo - it has truly helped us get through the hardest times. I am so grateful that this first huge hurdle is over and that I made it through in the best shape possible, but I know the journey continues. There will be many more hurdles along the way, so let's get on to the next! For many weeks now, I have wanted to share what Chemoland is like. But, there has always been something else that I wanted to share at that particular time, so I never got around to it. Today I wanted to give you a small glimpse into the world at the Weisberg Center (aka Chemoland), because it has become a bit of a second home to me - as odd as that may sound. The Weisberg Center is a satellite of the Karmanos Cancer Institute, located in Farmington Hills. The main hospital in downtown Detroit is a part of a huge medical center that is always crazy busy, with tons of people running around, and it can be a bit overwhelming. I am so grateful I get to receive my care at the Weisberg Center, which is a much more intimate, relaxed, and peaceful environment. Here are a few pics I took to let you see where I spend much of my time these days. The images are limited in order to protect the privacy of patients that were already in the clinic on this day. A couple snapshots of the lobby...there is also another section over by the windows with comfy arm chairs, a television, and reading materials. A gorgeous water wall that makes the lobby feel very tranquil There are three main areas in the building, aside from the reception and main lobby. There is the clinic where I see my oncologist, the front portion of the building where they do imaging and radiation, and then there is the infusion side where I received my chemo. This comfy green chair in the infusion area is where I have spent many, many hours throughout the last 15 rounds of chemotherapy. There are walls on either side that allow for some privacy, a huge window on one side that looks out onto the garden, a television, and then one side is open so the nurses can keep an eye on all of us. Behind the building there are beautiful, lush gardens with many animals, flowers, and sculptures. There is a patio with tables, chairs, and benches where family and friends are able to sit and relax. The windows on the left side of the picture below are the ones that you see in the picture above, next to my infusion chair. So this garden is what all of us patients are able to see while we receive our chemo treatments. Doesn't it look as peaceful and relaxing as chemo can possibly be? Although the Weisberg Center is beautiful, that's not what makes me so grateful that I receive my treatment there. It's the wonderful people. There's Felicia - the receptionist that greets Mike and I every morning with the biggest smile and most heartfelt, "How are you?". She has known us by name since day #1. I don't need to sign in, or wait at the desk for my wristband - I am able to go relax in a comfy chair because Felicia insisted on it from the very beginning -she goes out of her way to come find me and check me in. She somehow knew when it was Mike's birthday and even tried to make it special for him by giving him a little "happy birthday" name tag. She is the best and I wish that every doctors office or hospital had someone like Felicia sitting at the front desk, always with a huge smile, and kind words to try to brighten your day and make you feel better. I have talked before about how much I adore Dr. F, but I also love my infusion nurses - they are the best! Denise, Traci, and Ashley are the nurses that have taken awesome care of me during these months of chemo, and Tiffany who assists them. They are always so friendly, warm, and caring. As a patient, they make me feel that they truly care about me, that they are really looking out for me and that they are cheering me along! I am so grateful to have such a wonderful team around me. Even though I am glad to finish up these treatments, I will miss seeing them every week. Although chemo is over, I will continue to spend a lot of time at the Weisberg Center since this is where I will always see Dr. F and where I will receive 30 radiation treatments later this year. If I have to go through all of this, I am at least glad that I get to do it here - a place that makes me feel so comfortable, and where the Cheers theme song is true, "where everybody knows your name!" At 5:30 am the morning after chemo ended, we left for sunny Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Mom, Doug, Mike and I took a little Labor Day trip to celebrate finishing chemo treatments! Our wonderful friends, John & Paul invited us to come stay with them and it was perfect! They have a beautiful home on a canal off the Intercoastal waterway, only a mile or so from the ocean. We had a perfect trip spent relaxing at their pool, walking along the beach, eating lots of yummy food, and visiting with lots of friends! Aside from visiting with John and Paul, we were able to spend time with my mom's great friend, Sally and her family as well as meeting up with Brinley, Andy, Andrew, and Brin's parents. The weekend flew by so fast, but it was just what we needed to recharge our batteries. John & Paul's home has the most amazing landscaping - their property is covered with luscious plants, trees, and flowers. You can't even see their house from the street, or from the dock because it is surrounded in this incredible landscaping. While relaxing in their pool, it felt like I was engulfed in a tropical forest that gave us complete privacy from the outside world. It was simply gorgeous. Being near the ocean is always so relaxing for me. It is a great reminder that we are such a small part of this vast and huge world. Hearing those waves and seeing nothing but the bright, blue sea until it meets the horizon, helps me remember that there is a greater power at work in our lives and He is capable of amazing things. John & Paul - thank you so very much for letting the four of us come invade your gorgeous Florida home for the weekend. We had so much fun with you and we are so grateful we were able to do this! Mike already misses his morning egg sandwiches. ;) We are now back to reality. The school year officially started for Mike today and I will be heading back to the doctor on Thursday to get my test results and discuss our future plans. I hope everyone had a wonderful, relaxing Labor Day weekend. I'll be sure to update the blog again at the end of the week to keep everyone updated with the latest news. xoxo, Meghan Don't forget to mark your calendars for a great event on Sunday, September 25. Our dear friend, Patty has been working hard to make this happen and we are so grateful! Please contact Patty if you would like to contribute to the silent auction. Tickets for the event will be available at the end of the week.
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Big birthday celebrations are not really his thing. He hates to be the center of attention and never seeks out the limelight. But on this one day of the year, my fabulous husband begrudgingly allows me to spoil him and give him some extra special attention, which he most definitely deserves. Mike would not be a happy camper if I went on and on about how much I adore him, how much he means to me, and what an impact he has had on my life over the last 12 years...see above sentence regarding his discomfort with extra attention. ;) And with my gift of gab, you all know what I really want to do is just that...write sentence after sentence after how incredible he really is. But the thing is, I don't even need to do that. Most of you that are following our journey, know Mike personally...and to know him, is truly to love him. Period. So, as one last birthday gift to my amazing husband, I will not gush about him - I will simply say that we had a wonderful time last Thursday celebrating his birthday. We had a very special and meaningful day together reminiscing about the past, dreaming of the future, and enjoying time with our family and friends. Happy birthday to my very best friend - can't wait to celebrate many more together! The time has now come to round up the troops in order to bombard the heavens with prayers and good vibes. A CT scan of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis is scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning. Then on Tuesday morning I have an MRI of my thoracic spine followed by a full body bone scan. This is the first time I will have these scans done since I was diagnosed back in March. I have been so busy lately that it doesn't seem like I have had too much time to worry about these tests. But, I am wondering if subconsciously, I am more stressed about it than I thought. For the past week or two, I have been waking up at least 4 times each night, and have had difficulty sleeping for more than 2 hour increments. I wake up in the morning feeling like a zombie, with a sore jaw on top of that from grinding and clinching my teeth. I am really hoping that it's just due to anxiety and it will resolve after these scans are completed. Repeating these tests is obviously scary, stressful, and overwhelming for a lot of reasons - one of which is because it brings me right back to the first few days and weeks of this entire ordeal. What a terrifying time that was for us. This time around I know what to expect, which definitely helps - but I don't think the fear and worry will ever go away. For the rest of my life I will be monitored by scans, tests and blood work and the truth is that as positive as I may be, I will always be terrified of what could happen. The reality is that things could always be worse, the scans could always show progression, and we could once again be faced with devastating news. I pray this is not the case, but I feel that preparing for the worst has helped me deal with whatever may come my way. Early on in this journey, Dr. F explained to us that because my cancer is driven by estrogen, the hormone therapy I start after chemo will actually be my best weapon against this disease. Although we all agreed to start with chemo to try to contain the spread of the disease systemically, it is actually the hormone therapy I will start next that we will expect the greatest results from. With that said, we are prepared that these scans may not show any big changes since chemo started. And that is okay! The key is that we don't want to see any spread of the disease. If I have remained stable, that is good news to us - and if there does show a decrease in the tumor size or spread, that is icing on the cake! I will finish (yes, I said FINISH!!!!) chemo this Thursday, September 1. I can't believe how fast these 15 rounds have flown by. I have some mixed emotions about wrapping up with chemo - it is my routine now, I know what to expect, I feel comfortable there, I know how I will feel afterwards, I know everyone and everyone knows me. But, I also know that it's time to move on to the next hurdle and get on with the show. We leave for Florida with Mom and Doug super early on Friday morning. Yay! Our wonderful friends, John and Paul have invited us to spend Labor Day weekend at their beautiful home in Fort Lauderdale. We are definitely excited for an "end of chemo celebration" which will include sunshine, sandy beaches, and visiting with lots of friends! Not only will we get to stay with John and Paul but we will see one of my mom's best friends, Sally - one of our biggest cheerleaders and supporters! Then later in the weekend, we are meeting up with Brin, Andy and Andrew again!!! We are meeting them in West Palm Beach, along with Brin's wonderful parents, and I am so happy we get to see them again so soon. I am really looking forward to a little getaway to mark the end of a huge chapter of this journey. Next week will bring the official start to the school year and Mike will be back at work full time. I know we are both a little nervous about it, but I am confident it will all work out just fine and I will be okay fending for myself at home. :) Mike is such an incredible teacher and he absolutely loves his job, so I am happy that he will be back in the classroom. I am so grateful to the Waterford Kettering administration and staff for being so amazing and allowing me to have my husband with me each and every day these past five months - I don't know what I would have done without him there with me and I am so appreciative to each of you that allowed that to be a reality for us. A week from Thursday (on September 8), we will go see Dr. F to find out the results of this weeks tests. That will be a major appointment where we will discuss the next part of our game plan and figure out where we go from here. I am definitely having surgery, but there are also a lot of other treatments we may begin right away in the form of oral medications. Later that afternoon, I will also go see Dr. B at Beaumont to discuss final surgery plans and hopefully set the date for my mastectomy. Wow, just typing all of that makes me feel exhausted - let alone going through it. Please keep me in your prayers this week - if you do already, maybe you could throw in a few extras. Please pray that the 4+ months of chemotherapy have stabilized this disease, that my healthy cells have continued to fight, and that my bones have remained strong and stable. Please pray that my incredible doctors and medical team continue to seek the most comprehensive and aggressive treatments available, that they are able to guide us along a healing path, and that they continue to push for more research and discovery for metastatic disease. Please pray that my family and I are able to ease our minds, calm our fears, and stay positive and hopeful throughout the many days of waiting for my test results. I will definitely update everyone next week after our appointments. Until then, I want to pass along a moving and inspirational short film to all of you. It was shared with me by an amazing woman I have met that is also battling metastatic breast cancer. It is a powerful message regarding living with metastatic disease and I plan on playing it over and over again when I need a little boost. Please click here to read a short interview with the film's creator, and be sure to watch the 15 minute movie at the bottom of the page when you have time. Have a great week and a happy Labor Day celebration. A special congratulations to my friend, Stacy! Sorry we are missing your big day - can't wait to see pictures. You will be a beautiful bride! xoxo, Meghan This is my new mantra...every day is a blessing! Because although I have always tried to be a positive person, those five words have an entirely new meaning to me now. Every day that I get to look into those stunning blue eyes of Mikes, every day I get to fall asleep beside him & wake up next to him, every day that I get to hear my mom tell me she loves me, and every day that I get through (whether good, or bad), is a total and complete blessing. Before I get into the latest update, let me say THANK YOU!!! You guys are AH-MAZING! I am so happy that I started this blog because it means the world to me to read your messages. I feel the love and support pouring through and it makes me smile so big and I love you guys so much. Mike and I are so blessed to have so many people love and care about us and it really means more to me than you will ever know. So keep it comin' :) I want to also say that I am going to be completely truthful on this blog. It makes me feel better to get it all out there, whether it's good or bad. So buckle up kids because I think it's going to be a pretty long and bumpy ride. So, Thursday was a long day spent at the hospital & really just involved a lot of talking and getting familiar with how this whole process is going to work. We met with my surgeon, Dr. B and she explained the initial biopsy results. Although we don't know a lot yet, I'll be honest when I say that it wasn't encouraging. She said that I have Invasive Lobular Breast Cancer - I would provide a link about this but I have made an official promise to myself that I WILL NOT be searching anything on the internet. It will only freak me out and I would rather just focus on what my doctors are telling me. Anyways, this form of cancer makes up about 10% of all breast cancers and it is more common in younger women. Dr. B said it is "very sneaky and very hard to detect". My heart sank when she said she suspects it was there the entire time when I had an ultrasound and mammogram in January 2010. That was a tough pill to swallow. The biopsy tissue is rated on a scale of grade 1, 2 or 3 from least to most aggressive. This is different than actual staging of the cancer. My cancer has been rated a 3. This lobular form of cancer, and the fact that I am so young, tends to mean this thing is going to be aggressive. I am not going to lie - it is scary. But, we will just be aggressive right back...and I am pretty sure you all know that I have no problem being aggressive:) Apparently, this cancer doesn't realize that I am a red-headed, Irish, Aries with a fiesty and stubborn spirit and I don't back down easily! We also discussed many things such as where I should be treated...Beaumont, Karmanos, Henry Ford, U of M...so many choices and so many opinions- it can get overwhelming. The great thing is that my surgeon at Beaumont used to work at Karmanos up until 2 years ago so she has a lot of great insight. We really like her and feel comfortable with her so we have decided to stay at Beaumont's Breast Care Center with Dr. B and then my oncologist will be Dr. F from Karmanos. We have heard from numerous people that, "he is the best!" So that is very encouraging. The bad news was that he is booked solid and couldn't get me in until April 28. ugh! Heart sank again. I don't have time to wait that long. Well, my surgeon and the man upstairs pulled some strings and Dr. F is now going to squeeze me in on April 1, which is next Friday. Dr. B and Dr. F used to both work together at Karmanos and they both respect each other very much and continue to work very well together, so we feel like they will be a great team! Other members of my team are Nurse Linda- she is awesome and my mom loves her already - which says a lot since my mom has been a nurse for over 30+ years - she is a good judge of a great nurse! Heather is the nurse practitioner I first saw that referred me to get the ultrasound - she is young like me and super sweet and helpful. They have all given me their direct phone #'s and are always willing to talk and answer questions. I feel very comfortable in their hands. The rest of the day consisted with meeting with the genetic counselors. For those of you that don't know, the cancer history on my father's side of the family is nothing short of frightening. Out of 10 children, 6 have had cancer - and all but one has had more than one bout with it. This has always been a red flag for my doctors-even before this diagnosis. So, the genetics people wanted to go over every little detail of each family member all the way back to grand parents and their siblings. To say it was exhausting and terrifying to see it all on paper is an understatement. They took 5 vials of blood and will be completing tests to see if my breast cancer is the genetic form. This is important because not only is this information vital for my other family members, but it also impacts what my treatment might look like. If I have the genetic form (which I am guessing it is), there will be a 60% chance I will eventually get breast cancer on the left side. The likely course of treatment that I have decided upon if it's the genetic form, is a double mastectomy. Get rid of everything and get me as healthy as possible, for as long as possible! I am not worried about how I will look or if I have hair...I don't care about any of it. I just want to beat this and LIVE! This morning I had a CT scan of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis to see if this crap has spread to any of these places. If you are going to say any prayers, please direct them to this CT scan and pray that it shows NOTHING! I am so nervous about this test and I am praying so hard that this cancer has not invaded anywhere else. I should probably get the results Monday afternoon at the earliest. Monday morning I have an MRI of both breasts to see what else is going on in there, and I also have a biopsy of my right axillary (arm pit) lymph nodes. They are pretty sure the cancer has spread there already but let's hope it has stopped there. Then next Friday, I meet with Dr. F (oncologist @ Karmanos) for the first time and at that point we will have all the test results and can start figuring out a game plan. I will definitely have surgery, and definitely have chemo. Not sure which order or when but we all think things are going to be moving pretty fast from here on out. Who knows how much time we have already lost. I am looking forward to a fun weekend with friends and going to a photography workshop on Sunday called, "Babies, Babies, Babies" where we learn how to photograph newborns:) I am sure it will be the perfect distraction. I plan on heading back to work Tues, Wed, and Thursday and Mike is planning the same. Thank God we both have such supportive work environments that are making this as easy for us as possible. Well, I think that covers it for now! Sorry for being so long winded here but I really just want to get it all out there so everyone has all the details. Thank you again for all of your love, support and prayers. Keep us smiling and laughing - it really does help! xoxo, Meg A few things that made me smile today: my adorable pup who is cuddling more than ever - I swear, he knows his Momma is sick. And my tulips, they are coming up strong! love it and can't wait to get out in my garden soon! I bought this little pillow in a cute boutique while we were just visiting Seattle. "Life is Good...Enjoy the Little Things" |
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